Knock, Knock
by I'mNotGoodAtThis
Summary: When Korra and Asami are alone, things tend to get a little...Stupid. Korrasami Friendship.
1. Knock, Knock

AN: Usually I like to plan my stories in my head and let it stew for a while before I put it down on paper, but I just woke up with this idea this morning and I had to write it down right away. This is going to be a little dialog-heavy so to avoid any confusion:

**Bold= Korra**

_Italics= Asami_

* * *

_"You really suck at painting nails, you know that?"_

**"Well you should have known better than to ask me to do this. Asking me to paint nails is like asking a homeless man if he knows a good place to find a job."**

_"Wow. You are terrible. Making fun of homeless people..."_

**"I'm not making fun of them. Just making a comparison."**

_"Whatever."_

Between Mako's new job and Bolin training with his new Pro-Bending team, the girls found that they had a lot of spare time to sit around and talk. Usually they would go out for dinner or to catch a movie, but tonight they decided to just hang out at Asami's Mansion. Both girls were sitting on the couch in Asami's living room, listening to the radio. Asami was laying down oh her side of the couch, with her feet resting in Korra's lap.

**"Well since we already established that I suck at this, can I stop now?"**

_"No way, you're almost halfway done. you might as well finish."_

**But the last one is so tiny. Why the hell does anyone even bother to paint the little toe."**

_"Because the little toe won't feel pretty of you ignore it"_

**"It's a toe, it doesn't have feelings."**

_"It does if you hit it against a coffee table."_

Korra paused a second to ponder this. **"I guess you have a point there."**

_"Yeah I do." _Asami pointed to her toes, _"Now keep painting."_

**"If you weren't feeding me," **Korra grumbled. **"I would've left hours ago."**

_"Exactly. So if you want your precious steak, you better do a good job."_ Asami felt something drip on her ankle. _"What was that? Did you spill nail polish on me"_

**"No."**

_"So what was it?"_

**"N-Nothing."**

_"Korra.."_

**"I was thinking about meat, Okay?!" **Korra spat out. **"Do you have any idea what torture it is to live on an island full of vegetarians?!"**

_"Give me the nail polish, I'll finish it myself" _Asami pulled her legs back, making sure to wipe the drool off of her ankle by dragging it across Korra's pants. Korra raised an eyebrow at this and Asami gave her a challenging look in return. Korra decided it wasn't worth fighting over so she didn't say anything and let it slide. They spent the next few minutes in silence as Asami propped her right foot on the coffee table and finished painting her own nails. When she finished, Asami resumed her previous position by laying on the couch with her feet in Korra's lap, staring at the ceiling.

**"Okay, I'm bored now. What should we do?"**

Asami yawned. _"No idea."_ They just sat for a few minutes staring at the ceiling and listening to the radio in the background.

**"Don't you just hate that?"**

_"Hate what?"_

**"That awkward silence when you run out of things to talk about."**

_"It doesn't feel that awkward."_

**"Yes it does."**

_"Please this isn't even close to being awkward. I know what awkward feels like."_

**"You do now? Well will Miss Sato please demonstrate what her idea of awkward is?"**

_"Gladly," _Asami sat up and looked Korra in the eyes. _"So Korra, have you ever kissed another girl before?"_

**"Um...no..."**

_"Well if you want...I can show you...'things.' It will be fun."_ Korra's eyes were as wide as saucers. _"You see now? 'That' was awkward. Now you know the difference." _Korra let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

**"So you were only joking?"**

_"Yeah."_

**"Oh. Because if you were serious I would totally be down for that." **Asami's breath hitched a little at the statement. Korra grinned at the uncomfortable look Asami was giving her. **"Not so funny when it's happening to you, is it?"** Both girls giggled as the tension in the air evaporated.

_"Hell it's not like this is the first time a girl has hit on me."_

Korra raised an eyebrow. **"Do I really wanna know?"**

_"No."_

**"Alright then." **Korra paused for a moment. **"Hey, you wanna hear a joke?"**

_"Now we're telling jokes? you must really be bored."_

**"C'mon! It'll be fun."**

Asami sighed. _"Alright, shoot."_

**"Knock, Knock."**

_"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."_

**"Knock, Knock."**

_"No, I'm not doing this. It's stupid"_

**"Stop being a spoil sport. Knock, Knock"**

_"No."_

**"Knock, Knock."**

_"Nope."_

**"ASAMI STOP BEING A BRAT AND PLAY ALONG!"**

_"FINE TELL YOUR STUPID KNOCK KNOCK JOKE!"_

**"See? that wasn't so hard now, was it?" **Korra cleared her throat. **"Knock, Knock."**

_"Come in."_

**"..."**

_"...What?"_

**"I hate you." **Korra turned away from Asami and folded her arms across her chest.

_"Are you seriously pouting? What are you, five?" _Korra remained silent. _"Okay, I'm sorry. Tell me your joke. I promise to play along."_

**"Nope I can't tell the joke now. it's been built up too much and it won't be funny anymore."**

_"Just tell the joke Korra."_

**"No. Like I said, it's been built up too much and you won't laugh at it."**

_"I wasn't going to laugh at it anyway. Knock Knock jokes are stupid."_

**"Oh really? I bet I can make you smile with this one."**

_"Five bucks says you can't."_

**"I can get behind that." **Both girls pulled money out of their pockets and set it down on the coffee table. **"Asami, say 'Knock, Knock'"**

_"Okay. Knock, Knock."_

**"Who's there?"**

_"...Um..."_

**"Well? Who's there?"**

_"You crafty little brat!" _Asami giggled. _"You tricked me!" _Korra grabbed the money on the table and quickly pocketed it.

**"Don't care! You still smiled!" **Korra stood up and stretched, working the kinks out of her back. Korra held her hand out for Asami and pulled the taller girl out of her seat. **"Lets go eat those steaks now, I'm hungry."**

_"Dinner's not ready yet."_

**"I don't care if it's not ready yet. I'm hungry and I. Will. Have. My. Steak. I don't care if it's still attached to the cow, I'm going to eat the hell out of that steak."**

_"Fine let's go then." _Both girls walked out of the living room and headed down the halls toward the kitchen.

**"Hey Asami, wanna hear another Knock Knock joke?"**

Asami knew there was no point with fighting Korra again. _"Go ahead..." _She groaned.

**"Knock, Knock!"**

_"Who's there?"_

**"Banana!"**

Asami slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand and slowly dragged it across her face. _"Korra I swear to God, if you continue that joke, I'm going to throw your steak out of the fucking window." _The shorter woman couldn't help but laugh at her frustration.

**"Fair enough."**

* * *

AN: Gotta love that Korrasami friendship (or you can just imagine it as a romance if you are desperate). Now that I got that out of my system, I can focus on my other story ideas. If you enjoyed my oneshot, please, feel free to leave a review, you know how happy that makes a writer feel.


	2. Cucumbers

AN: I was originally going to keep this as a oneshot but I had another idea pop into my head randomly so I'm going to write another chapter. I know the lot of you are secretly angry at me for not updating 'Korra Doesn't Like Fanfiction' but I have the unfinished chapter saved onto another computer about three states away so you are going to have to bear with me.

Just consider this a 'I'm sorry I haven't updated in over two months' present.

* * *

Fucking Korra.

Just...Motherfucking Korra.

Needless to say, Asami was not happy with her friend at the moment. Sure, she lost the bet, but when Korra gave her the simple penalty of 'picking up a few things at the store for her' Asami thought Korra was being nice and letting her off easy.

But Korra never made things easy. In fact, she was making things difficult for her right now. At the moment her _friend _was standing on the other side of the cash register, swinging her umbrella around. Ever since they entered the store, that damn grin never left her face.

So here she was, downtown some new department store called Wal-Mart, waiting in line with a basket full of _things_ Korra so desperately needed. She just wanted to get in and out of the store as soon as possible, unfortunately, the man in front of her was holding up the line with a fat stack of coupons. After a couple of minutes, Asami finally had enough.

"Sir," Asami snapped. "Do you really need to save 20 cents on that fucking orange juice?"

"Hey screw you." The man looked down into Asami's basket. "You act like what you're buying is so...important..." The man's voice trailed off as he examined the contents of her basket. A few seconds of silence passed before the man smirked at her.

"You know what? Forget the coupons. It's obvious you are in a hurry." The cashier rang up the man's items and he paid the cashier before grabbing his bags. "You have a _wonderful_ evening Miss."

Asami could hear Korra snorting to her right. After sending a quick glare Korra's way, Asami emptied her basket and set the items on the counter. Her face started to turn red from embarrassment as the cashier coughed awkwardly to hide her smile and the couple behind her stared at her knowingly while trying to suppress their laughter.

"You find everything okay, ma'am?"

"I did." Asami bit out. "I had a lot of help from my **_friend_** here."

Korra flashed her a thumbs up and Asami had to repress the urge to choke her.

"Hmm...that's weird." The cashier examined the items. "The price tag on all of these items have been scratched off. I need to do a price check."

Motherfucking Korra.

Asami was stupid for not double-checking the items Korra put in her basket. This was just classic her.

Always making shit difficult.

"Han! Han! Get over here!" The woman shouted to a man restocking candy 6 registers over. Instead of walking over so they could continue their conversation at an acceptable volume, the man yelled back from where he was standing.

"What do you want?!" Asami palmed her face in frustration. They were really going to do this to her. In front of everybody.

"I need you to do a price check on a few things!"

"Like what?!"

"Two Orchid scented candles, a six pack of strawberry-kiwi wine coolers, the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' book, one container of Vaseline, and..." The cashier paused to count out the last items. "Three cucumbers!"

Korra couldn't hold it in any longer, She laughed mercilessly as everyone in line stared at Asami. If Bolin were here right now, Asami wouldn't do something as cliche as asking him to bury her alive. Nah, she would end that shit quickly by having him drive a stalagmite through her eye socket.

Or are they called stalactites?

Can earthbenders even _bend_ stalactites? Asami made a mental note to ask Bolin if he can bend Calcium Carbonate the next time she saw him.

"What was the name of that book again?!"

The cashier cupped her hands around her mouth so she could amplify her voice. "FIFTY SHADES OF GREY!"

You know what? Fuck the stalactites. It would be a lot easier if she walked over to the hardware section and brained herself with the claw end of a hammer.

"Okay. Be back in a bit!" To everyone else in line, 'a bit' was three minutes of impatient groaning. To Asami, 'a bit' felt like two hours of social suicide. While Asami was contemplating whether or not she had enough cash on her to buy a hammer as well, Han finally returned with a slip of paper. The cashier looked at the paper and typed the item prices into her register before she finally looked up and smiled at Asami.

"That will be thirty-seven Yuans and 83 cents Ma'am."

Asami practically threw the forty Yuans at the cashier and waited while she printed out the receipt and gave her her change. Now that Asami's suffering was finally over she stomped over to Korra and shoved the bag into her arms while Korra giggled at her friends embarrassment.

"So Asami...What did you learn?"

"That you are literally an asshole?"

"Nice try, but no. What did you really learn?" Asami pinched the bridge of her nose. She knew Korra wouldn't let up so she finally gave in.

"Never bet the Avatar that she can't eat ten bowls of noodles in one sitting."

"Atta Girl. You know, I had a lot of fun shopping with you today, we should do it again sometime. I heard there was this little shop around the block that sells 'marital aides'." Korra waggled her eyebrows at her.

Okay. That's it, Asami had enough of this. If she was going to die of mortification in the middle of Wal-Mart of all places, then there was no way in hell she was going down alone. Asami laid a gentle hand on Korra's cheek and gave her an evil grin. She wanted everyone to hear what she had to say next.

"C'mon sweetie, let's hurry up and head home. We don't want to be late for _date night_ again!" Korra's grin transformed into a look of horror as a few customers whistled and shouted catcalls at the two girls. Asami pried the umbrella from the stunned Avatar's hand and walked out into the wet parking lot. She didn't even bother waiting for Korra as she opened the umbrella and walked toward her car. The Avatar could walk home for all she cared.

It's not like the bitch didn't deserve it.

* * *

AN: Well I guess 'Knock, Knock' is a two-shot now. Or it could be a three-shot, since I'm already getting ideas for a new chapter. You know what, I'll just add another chapter to this story whenever I feel like writing some Korrasami (Well it would be Korrasami if you squinted, put in your contacts and turned your monitor sideways). But I'll get right on that after I update KDLF. Eventually. I hope.

Oh yeah, One more thing. It's not really LOK related but I'm planning on branching out into Mass Effect Fanfiction. The only problem is that I have two story ideas and I can't decide on what to write first. So if you happen to be a Mass Effect fan, please take two seconds of your time and vote on the poll I set up on my profile page. The choices you have are:

1. After saving the galaxy for a third time, Commander Shepard calls up all the people who promised her drinks and holds them hostage.

2. A poor Infiltrator dealing with the daily annoyances of kill-stealing vanguards.

Please pick one, even if you aren't a Mass Effect fan. I would really appreciate it.


End file.
